Match Report - CPL Round 2

CPL Round 2 on Sunday didn't disappoint. So when we look at the team sheets, there's always a luxury player's name we don't recognise, "Risky's Mate" for example, to the point where we've almost given up trying to dechiper and will write as seen, whoever they turn out to be. This time around the name "Ballers" drew attention. Ball-ers? Couldn't place him, is he another fancy Kemptonite? We were delighted when the ringer in question was none other than Ryan Ballerino, aka The Chertsey Prince™. Ballers kept us highly amused throughout the Armada v Knights match, regrettably nearly obliterating his face twice, and he had such a good game #ballersforengland was the no.1 trending subject on Twitter for a short time, then some Kardashian took his place.

It was certainly a day for topping up the cricket tan, i mean who needs Lanzarote when you've got Costa del Cherdy eh (scorebook note: "It's hot, might be too hot"), so much so we needed to find a shady spot after turning a little fuschia, fresh from caning the rays sans suntan lotion the previous day at Ashford. Not a good idea kids - lotion up. Our choice was just behind the original Old Gits Bench in the bushes, but Elliot Bloomfield still managed to locate us like a heat-seeking missile and we wore one on the shin. Bloomfield 1 Comms 0. Some had probably wished it was a little higher up but we can comfirm our teeth are still in our face.

All in all though it was the batsman's day - over on Instagram you voted in your single figures for the performance of the round. In contention was Ash Bhat, the Armada's luxury player, who's shot selection had us all agog, posting a stylish 82, but Bloomfield & Sloan's partnership for Meads Enforcers was just pipped to the post by Dave Risk's flamboyant early evening win-sealing century for the Bourne Stars, who went so big he managed to hit Ron's house with his last ball for gargantuan a-six-a. Sorry neighbours.

In other notes was the Meads' Big Al, an absolutely lovely man, but when he rocked up in a vintage Meads shirt, different to his teammates, the reason upon questioning was as his CCC scorecard name suggests, his "broad shoulders" couldn't fit in an XL. So we've set up a crowdfunding page to upgrade him to an XXL, donate generously, it'll be a lot of fabric. Have to keep a luxury player in the manner to which they're accustomed don't we. Penultimate round Sunday August 16th when the new residents of the pirate ship will be decided for Finals Day *cough* Grove Armada.

Here's where we currently stand:

Meads Enforcers - 2 Wins
Bourne Stars -  1 Win
Gogmore Knights -  1 Win
Grove Armada - 0 Wins

Grove Armada 154-5 v Gogmore Knights 161-4
Bhat 82, Johnson 2-15 ~ Stuart Eagles 2-28, James Richards 58

Meads Enforcers 166-2 v Bourne Stars 161-5
Dave Risk 100, John Bailey 2-29 ~ David Sloan 47, Hugh Aish-Lyons 1-33